The Aging Family

There seems to be endless information on how to start a healthy marriage and family and how to parent children.  There is by far fewer resources which discuss the aging family.  However, the aging family is just as important to focus on because it is a time of change for families and individuals that can include loss of adult children, a decline in health and independence, and loss of one's spouse.

Aging couples often times struggle with the changes that come with age.  Many have a hard time being 'empty nesters' because for many years their whole focus was raising children.  Some aging couples are satisfied with tending to grandchildren while others cross boundaries between the role of grandparent and parent.

Although the changes that occur can be difficult for aging couples, it can become a time to develop a stronger relationship with a spouse or other family members. 

Parenting

The purpose of parenting is to "protect and prepare children so that they can survive and thrive in the world they have to live in."  Parents are a child's most needed teacher.  Through their guidance, love, and selflessness they teach their children important values and life lessons that will be relied upon for the remainder of their lives.

In class we discussed an effective parenting method to use when conflict or a problem arises with a child or teen.  The first step is for the parent to make a polite request.  When the child feels they are respected and loved they will be more likely to comply with the parents desires.  If this approach doesn't work the next step is to use "I" statements.  The statement "I have a problem with the mess in the living room" is much less offensive than "You are always making a mess in the living room."  By using "I" statements the child will not feel a need to defend themselves and as a result they will be more willing to fix the problem.  If these first two approaches don't work a firmer statement may need to be made.  When making a firm statement it is important to keep calm and be respectful while still making the point come across.